Well it's official: Calvin Klein's "Obsession for Men" is the most potent animal-magnetism magnet in the entire world. The cologne attracts any living creature within whiffing distance, including, and I'm not making this up: jungle cats in the wild, or so says the Wildlife Conservation Society.
Researching a group of "elusive" jaguars in Central America, the WCS announced its researchers have been using the high-end cologne to draw the big cats toward cameras set up in the wilderness. Triggered by an infra-red beam, the animals come close to investigate the mesmerizing scent, and quicker than you can say Abercrombie and Fitch, "candid" shots of the cats are flashed automatically, and subsequently used in research projects.
I'm not sure exactly what qualifies the term "candid" here, but I'm picturing the purring spotted beasts pawing and arching for the camera, as their interest in the faux mating scent is piqued.
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but aside from the more bizarre aspect of this story, the scent itself and its drawing power on wild jungle cats, isn't there something a bit je ne sais quois about spying on wilderness cats without their permission? And could we call it a little unfair to lure them with Calvin's "Obsession," which goes for up to $100 a bottle? The cats don't know it's expensive, but there's something unnatural about it.
This whole game, albeit laudable in its conservation goals, probably burns those cats up--not only are they intrigued by this fabulously musky scent in the otherwise natural setting of the forest, but also they're cheated out of the expected finale to the evening! It's bait and switch!
Sure, some of the jaguars enjoy the hunt of a member of the opposite sex hiding in the shrubs, perhaps fawning for the camera as well, but they're just acting on instinct. They're cats, after all! This would be like giving Tabby her cat-nip, only without the zing, then repeat-snapping her pic in the bargain.
Naturally, the fashion world has been turned on its collective ear by the news of this shocking phenomenon. Discovered in research on cheetas and other felines at the Bronx Zoo, "Obsession for Men" was proven more attractive than any other scent on the market. But what about the other fragrance lines?
Poor Liz Taylor--she's donated good dollars to animal rescue organizations all her adult life, but "White Diamonds" can't get as much as a sniff from a snow leopard? A pinch from a puma? The poor woman doesn't deserve such treatment, although the cats can't help it if Calvin's formula smells better than all the rest.
"Jaguars are highly elusive creatures and for years WCS researchers struggled to develop more effective methods for estimating how many jaguars were in the forest, hidden amongst the ancient Maya temples,” said Roan McNab, WCS Guatemala Director. “Now, due to the fact that jaguars love Obsession for Men, WCS field conservationists are getting more precise estimates of jaguar populations.” Based on the photos released by the WCS, "Obsession" also attracts pumas, ocelots, tapirs, peccaries and coatis.
Now I wonder what effect this may have on the fur industry? And will the fragrance designers start testing on animals again, perhaps sending nice gift baskets down to the zoo? Picture J-Lo and entourage dashing into the lion cage wearing furls of leopard skin, announcing free-with-purchase cosmetic bags with every positive response to her new version of "Deseo."
And now that Calvin has conquered the wild beasts, beating out any reasonable expectations for success, what's next for him in the fragrance department? Scented kitty litter would be my guess. Next he'll be lecturing on proper kitten potty training and how to slim down your middle-aged Persian.
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